Plead
talk to monster and monster won't eat you.
Victims
upcoming! fun schedule equivalent :)
x Love Matters (Sunday) it's a terrible movie. =(
x The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (TBA)
x Cycling (TBA) --> I miss cycling =(
x Current Affairs Workshop (10,11,12 March)
x Thieves Market OH SO FUN! =D OWL BAG! <333
x 12 Rounds <-- hmm, boring movie? zzzzz *retches at mention of popcorn*
x Visit Objectif <-- LOMO Embassy; lomos are expensive. =(
x ARTFRIEND WAS FUN; haahs, if you consider trying not to fold a piece of turquoise tracing paper and bring it home in one piece fun.
x Knowing (Saturday)
x chalet! (13-16 April) <3333333
x X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE FOUND :D
Dramas
x Witch Yoo Hee
x ToGetHer (ai jiu zhai yi qi)
x Boys over Flowers
x Grey's Anatomy S5 WAITING S6!!
x House S5 SEASON 6 HURRY OUT!
x Gokugen 1, 2, 3
Movies
x Coraline
x Knowing
x Potter
x X-Men Origins: WOLVERINE
Sewing Machine
x fabrics purchase GOT THEM! =D
x attempts to create: jewellery tools case, purses, passport cover, lappy cozy
x BOOK COVER! COMPLETE!
Photography
x amateur photography --> kinda suck at this huh? (well, ongoing)
OHLIQ
x finish selling those ragged pieces of clothes! (can I give up already? :S)
Jasmine/A Tinge of Aquamarine
x jewellery tuning
x photography
x conceptualise
x photoshop
Cooking
x attempt to arrange/attend cooking lessons once a week with my mother CLOSE to giving up on this. :P
Fleas
x visit the theives' market at sugei road (since I FINALLY found out how to get there :) (wed) <3333333333
Fitness
x once-twice weekly jogging :) hey, relieves stress and increases metabolism! very very good. =) (or others like tennis and cycling)--> these no time. =(
x GOAL: to lose weight to below **kg :D
x dance class
x GOLF! lol.
x kayaking!
CCA stuff
x NYAA Chapter
x SPIN@TRM - NATAS
WISH LIST
x Disderi 3 Lens Camera =) --> Spreeing it! :D
x headphones? Those vintage kind! Plus won't mess my hair! (note* my head is pretty big, pls make necessary allowances. :P) --> anyone want to bring me to Jaben/Stereo?
x Jewellery Case/Box for bringing to Taipei. =)
x Maybe you can get me stuffs for my OIAP. hahas, just please, don't give me a ricecooker. -_-
x New Glasses
x Contact Lens
x Nude Heels and Gladiator Sandals!--> waiting waiting waiting!!
x Casual Blazer!--> bought! but the seller superrr slow. :(
x Robot Necklace & whale earrings!--> think I may forgo these two, whale earrings not so nice, may switch to birdie instead! Robot mahs, idk...
x Polar Bear Wire Wrap!
x Two new bags I kan shang online. Should be getting it. Except dno when she ordering also... O_O
x External Harddisk :x
leave now and monster won't eat you.
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landmark entry has it been a year? or has it been a semester? Well anyway the point is that, it's been a pretty long while. Maybe it's me who hasn't let go. But, I think everyone knows it themselves that they haven't let it go. They know. They know. They know. And they still bear something for it. I know. I know. I know. Well, I can't let it go, so that is alright by me. It's just a bit haunting, coz I can't wait to get out of NP and start afresh somewhere else. And that is always a bad thing. I mean, in future I'm just gna be like, oh, NP, I had some bad memories there. People always remember the worst and I think it applies both ways. haahs, well, if you look at Thailand, and how they're just trying to promote all that's good now, to try to remove the stigma from their country, then maybe I should do the same huh? LOL. But I'd say, it's always different for a destination and a human being. I guess I just retracted into a shell and got out of that situation asap. As expected of a stupid cancerian. GOSH, why must I give in to my nature?? But, then again, what was I supposed to do? The stupid defeatist nature should be abolished. arhs, wells, idk, I think it'd be horrible of me to say that I used to be here, but now I'm nowhere. And someone else has now replaced me... Would it have been better for me to have shut up that day? Or perhaps think things properly through before shooting my mouth off? Well, could you blame me for being angry at the way they were talking about my bff? Then again, what was I thinking? If it really must be tracked back, I was not receptive of my dear bff too. I guess I was more afraid of the class politics it would implicate than I thought. I thought, I already had a good thing going with my class, and just when my clique and I was getting along, suddenly, a new type of situation arose. I'm really not blaming my dear bff for being the new type of situation, because in life, we can never be prepared for situations to suddenly arise, and this is but part and parcel of life. But perhaps, I only know that now, and well, it's too late to go back to that time to undo things. Well, anyway, I guess I was more afraid of change than I thought I was, I guess I really am cowardly, for I didn't even apologise to my class for well treating them unfairly. Then again, they were at fault too. Yet, all I can say is that this whole thing was just handled badly. Maybe coz I blocked everyone out. I didn't and couldn't think through what was the right thing to do. I just allowed myself to feel victimised, I just sunk in and let defeat in and take over, I just didn't do what was right, I just became a coward... If I could just apologise for everything now, I really would, but was I really the only one at fault? No, I wasn't. But, my apology would really help to revert the whole thing and help me kiss and make up with everyone. And if faced with that, the me right now would just do it, take the humble pie, apologise. But did the me then thought it was the right thing to do? Honestly, if we take another perspective, I had to go full circle in order to understand the lesson they were trying to teach me. Perhaps they did teach me something. And the me now is wiser, even if only by an inch, I really feel wiser and how much I did need to learn in conflict management. Sometimes, we need to learn certain things the hard way, otherwise we would never grow. If I had not spoken out that day, imagine I would still be the an fen shou ji girl and hua said people like that didn't achieve great things. While of course, it's not about the speaking up that makes you a great person, but it's also about willing to acknowledge and be willing to make the necessary apologies and bu chang when it boils right down to it and being the bigger person. It doesn't even matter if you feel that your mistake was smaller compared to others, the fact remains you made a mistake and you should apologise for it. Well, I feel a bit better now. I think people still care, it just belongs more to the gossipy-variety and the NPF ("Ngee Ann Poly Friend" - quote ani) variety. I had things to lose, and I guess I underestimated and overestimated it all. The friendships, the support, the things I believed to be true, turned out to be more of smoke than solid rock. Was it me, my character? Or was it that I was thick-headed and couldn't SEE who I really was to them. Well, whatever it was, will never be now. I'm not angry or anything anymore, I have already lost it - whatever was it that idk if it was ever worth keeping even in the first place. Perhaps, I would have been happier holding on to the illusion, but now that I've come out of it, perhaps it was good too. Well, *laughs bitterly* the fact that I even feel so aggravated by this really shows how much I cared. After everything, there's not much I can do about it. I guess the only action to take now is to let it go, and once I have done it, I will be happier. =) Even if that isn't my character to let things I care for go, I HAVE to this time or maybe it'd be good practice for the future too. In the first place, I probably got too attached. I must remember that these are acquaintances. Jasmine, please, just this once, get it into your thick skull. Coming back to the beginning, I have learnt much, grown much, learnt to ignore more. It's never something nice to feel hated by others, and I really wonder if it was all worth it. If only things were really so simple, as simple as standing up for a friend, but not as complex as hurting other friends in the process. Were they friends? Were they acquaintances? But then, I guess they must have cared too, after all, there is no anger and hurt if one didn't care... Right? well, I guess, I did screw up. And there's no longer any point regreting and looking back. I have learnt much and I will hold on to those lessons dearly. They're not something I'm proud of, but sometimes, real experiences like that really do help. There, well, I hope this review has helped me to accept this whole matter properly and come to terms with it. After all I have always been going on and on about it just because I haven't accepted it. Well, if you hear me mention it once more and again, then you know I haven't accepted it. Oh wells. Doesn't matter then I will review it again after another semester and we'll see how again then. I'm just glad now, that I took this first step.
landmark entry has it been a year? or has it been a semester? Well anyway the point is that, it's been a pretty long while. Maybe it's me who hasn't let go. But, I think everyone knows it themselves that they haven't let it go. They know. They know. They know. And they still bear something for it. I know. I know. I know. Well, I can't let it go, so that is alright by me. It's just a bit haunting, coz I can't wait to get out of NP and start afresh somewhere else. And that is always a bad thing. I mean, in future I'm just gna be like, oh, NP, I had some bad memories there. People always remember the worst and I think it applies both ways. haahs, well, if you look at Thailand, and how they're just trying to promote all that's good now, to try to remove the stigma from their country, then maybe I should do the same huh? LOL. But I'd say, it's always different for a destination and a human being. I guess I just retracted into a shell and got out of that situation asap. As expected of a stupid cancerian. GOSH, why must I give in to my nature?? But, then again, what was I supposed to do? The stupid defeatist nature should be abolished. arhs, wells, idk, I think it'd be horrible of me to say that I used to be here, but now I'm nowhere. And someone else has now replaced me... Would it have been better for me to have shut up that day? Or perhaps think things properly through before shooting my mouth off? Well, could you blame me for being angry at the way they were talking about my bff? Then again, what was I thinking? If it really must be tracked back, I was not receptive of my dear bff too. I guess I was more afraid of the class politics it would implicate than I thought. I thought, I already had a good thing going with my class, and just when my clique and I was getting along, suddenly, a new type of situation arose. I'm really not blaming my dear bff for being the new type of situation, because in life, we can never be prepared for situations to suddenly arise, and this is but part and parcel of life. But perhaps, I only know that now, and well, it's too late to go back to that time to undo things. Well, anyway, I guess I was more afraid of change than I thought I was, I guess I really am cowardly, for I didn't even apologise to my class for well treating them unfairly. Then again, they were at fault too. Yet, all I can say is that this whole thing was just handled badly. Maybe coz I blocked everyone out. I didn't and couldn't think through what was the right thing to do. I just allowed myself to feel victimised, I just sunk in and let defeat in and take over, I just didn't do what was right, I just became a coward... If I could just apologise for everything now, I really would, but was I really the only one at fault? No, I wasn't. But, my apology would really help to revert the whole thing and help me kiss and make up with everyone. And if faced with that, the me right now would just do it, take the humble pie, apologise. But did the me then thought it was the right thing to do? Honestly, if we take another perspective, I had to go full circle in order to understand the lesson they were trying to teach me. Perhaps they did teach me something. And the me now is wiser, even if only by an inch, I really feel wiser and how much I did need to learn in conflict management. Sometimes, we need to learn certain things the hard way, otherwise we would never grow. If I had not spoken out that day, imagine I would still be the an fen shou ji girl and hua said people like that didn't achieve great things. While of course, it's not about the speaking up that makes you a great person, but it's also about willing to acknowledge and be willing to make the necessary apologies and bu chang when it boils right down to it and being the bigger person. It doesn't even matter if you feel that your mistake was smaller compared to others, the fact remains you made a mistake and you should apologise for it. Well, I feel a bit better now. I think people still care, it just belongs more to the gossipy-variety and the NPF ("Ngee Ann Poly Friend" - quote ani) variety. I had things to lose, and I guess I underestimated and overestimated it all. The friendships, the support, the things I believed to be true, turned out to be more of smoke than solid rock. Was it me, my character? Or was it that I was thick-headed and couldn't SEE who I really was to them. Well, whatever it was, will never be now. I'm not angry or anything anymore, I have already lost it - whatever was it that idk if it was ever worth keeping even in the first place. Perhaps, I would have been happier holding on to the illusion, but now that I've come out of it, perhaps it was good too. Well, *laughs bitterly* the fact that I even feel so aggravated by this really shows how much I cared. After everything, there's not much I can do about it. I guess the only action to take now is to let it go, and once I have done it, I will be happier. =) Even if that isn't my character to let things I care for go, I HAVE to this time or maybe it'd be good practice for the future too. In the first place, I probably got too attached. I must remember that these are acquaintances. Jasmine, please, just this once, get it into your thick skull. Coming back to the beginning, I have learnt much, grown much, learnt to ignore more. It's never something nice to feel hated by others, and I really wonder if it was all worth it. If only things were really so simple, as simple as standing up for a friend, but not as complex as hurting other friends in the process. Were they friends? Were they acquaintances? But then, I guess they must have cared too, after all, there is no anger and hurt if one didn't care... Right? well, I guess, I did screw up. And there's no longer any point regreting and looking back. I have learnt much and I will hold on to those lessons dearly. They're not something I'm proud of, but sometimes, real experiences like that really do help. There, well, I hope this review has helped me to accept this whole matter properly and come to terms with it. After all I have always been going on and on about it just because I haven't accepted it. Well, if you hear me mention it once more and again, then you know I haven't accepted it. Oh wells. Doesn't matter then I will review it again after another semester and we'll see how again then. I'm just glad now, that I took this first step.
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